#WCW, Vol. 2

Happy Hump Day!

I didn't do a #WCW last week because I was evidently too busy taking pictures of Sydney floating around a pool in her baby swan float---but we're back!

Speaking of Arizona, while taking a lunch break at the pool Sydney was happily eating grilled chicken and fruit in her little two-piece swimsuit, and one of the women nearby was saying how cute and what a good eater she was. True and true. She then said, "But you better be careful, sweetie, otherwise you won't be able to wear those cute little two pieces anymore." She said it light-heartedly and with a chuckle, and I know she didn't mean it to be anything but a joke, but it definitely didn't sit well with me. I didn't say anything to the woman, as I know her intentions were pure, but it made me really sad Sydney was apparently already being 'objected' to societal pressures. Jordan and I used to joke about her belly and leg rolls, but lately we're really starting to become more cognizant of the words we use with her and how we want her to view herself and the world. It's tough enough to keep Sydney's Paw Patrol obsession to a minimum and keep her from falling into monkey pits at the zoo, but now I need to start really focusing on raising her as an individual and as a female. (Don't even get me started on the gorilla-child situation. My heart breaks for that mother, I'm sad for the gorilla; it was an awful situation all around, plain and simple.) Anyway, I want Sydney to be confident but not boastful, strong-minded but not forceful, intelligent and sound yet also silly and spontaneous, compassionate but not weak, feel beautiful both on the inside and outside; I want her to be the best version she can be but still feel it's okay to make mistakes. And I want her to learn from her mistakes. But most of all I want her to be kind-hearted and love herself and be proud of the sweet girl she is.

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My second guest blogger is someone you may have heard about (she runs a little 'ole account on Instagram called @lovedbygiselle), and she has become a very near and dear friend of mine. Stephanie Prosa is the mom to three beautiful, fun, smart, creative, spunky, confident and sweet girls -- yes, THREE. I was once asked to name someone I admire and I said verbatim, "Any mom who has three kids," because I literally don't get it. I don't get the logistics---like, how do you get out the door? As it is with only one right now, it takes us a solid 1.5 hours at least. Sydney is such a slow-poke and the biggest lollygagger I know (I don't know where she gets it . . . ), and I seriously think if/when we add another one to the mix, we'll need at least a day's notice to get anywhere. We'll also need a small semi, not because of adding extra kids in the car, but to hold the sheer amount of shit I'll have to bring with me. Anyway, Steph has three kids. And three girls to boot. And they're all surviving and thriving and turning into the most incredible mini women---but if you've ever met Steph (virtually or in real life), you'll instantly know why. She's hands-down one of the most hilarious, passionate, confident, down to earth, strong women I know. She's beautiful inside and out, and her beauty and confidence exudes in her tiny humans -- and in her Snapchats. (If you have a Snap account, I highly recommend you go follow her. She's hilair.)

Steph with her beautiful three daughters (from L to R): Leilani (8), Steph (younger than me so I hate her), Gigi (2) and Bella (12)

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Hola! I'm Stephanie. Sarah asked me to be a guest blogger, and I'm so excited to have a fresh platform to talk about myself. I'm a Leo, and if you're into the whole Astrology thing, you'll know that it means I'm full of myself. ([Sarah's edit] Hahaha, she's not; Steph is humble, modest, unassuming and so kind-hearted.) I decided my topic should be raising girls considering I have three daughters (I sometimes feel I'm a professional daughter-raiser).

So...you know the feeling when you're frantically driving home after eating out because you don't think you'll make it home in time? You hit every red light and with each one your stomach pains grow bigger and closer in-between? You ask yourself things like, "Why do I keep ordering the cheese fries?" and, "Do I have baby wipes just in case I have to stop in McDonald's again?" -- That's what raising girls is like.

Don't get me wrong; I love having little girls. I may have been freaked out each time I heard, "It's a girl!", but I've since moved on and accepted that my future will be filled with constant girl fights over petty things, kind of like Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj on American Idol. They're amazing individually, but put them together and it's a shitshow waiting to happen. (Thanks for the that term, Sarah.)

Although I like to think I have my shit together as a mom of three girls, I gotta admit, it is no easy task. No matter how great of a day you have, every night you sit back and wonder if you're somehow setting your child up for alcoholism and trauma therapy. I know, I'm a bit dramatic; this is where you feel for my husband (but not for too long because he's got his own flaws).

If you're a mom (and I'm guessing you are because you're here. Unless you're a dad. Or a nanny. Or you just really freaking like kids, donut words and immaculate living rooms from Sarah's IG page), then you know that motherhood is a major learning curve. It took me a long time to figure it all out, and I'm still learning about myself and my daughters every day. I've taken some of my favorite tips from some awesome people on raising girls, which are:

Let her have her own voice. They have to learn to speak up, even if it means voicing opinions that are not your own! Eeeek.

Allow her to settle the drama. Girls are monsters. Your girl is a monster, too. When they fight, let them make up on their own. She will learn to trust herself when she knows she can handle it (unless they're hitting each other and stuff -- then, yea, step in).

Don't just tell her she's pretty. She's also smart, funny and strong. It's important she hears that.

Listen before talking. I'm noticing that my older girls want an open ear more than my opinion. The helicopter mom in me is dying to tell them my opinion, but trust them to figure it out for themselves. You'll be surprised how smart they are!

Let her feel insecure. I know -- weird advice. But all girls feel somewhat insecure. They second-guess their hair, change their outfits three times before leaving. Don't disregard her insecurities and tell her you don't know why she feels fat, ugly, not good enough. Tell her you know. That you sometimes feel like that, too. They feel that way because they're human. Don't let her feel isolated in her feelings.

Be honest. Don't sugar coat. Tell her how you were in high school when she asks, even if you smoked weed every day. Be transparent about what is happening in the world. Explain to her why she is being punished. Honest is the best policy, especially because you don't have a good memory to remember the lies you told her.

Well, I hope I didn't bore you all to death with this blog post. I hope Sarah still wants to be my friend because I swear we will be planning a girls trip to Vegas as soon as it's possible. Being a mom of girls (or a mom in general) is exhausting. I wish you moms all the best with your kiddos; I'll be hyperventilating about my oldest heading to junior high in the fall, which will be a whole other segment...with a whole lot of wine.

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To see more of Steph and her girls, follow her at https://instagram.com/lovedbygiselle.