#WCW, Vol. 1

Hello and happy hump day!

I'm so excited to share with you a little something I've been working on...

If you've been reading my blog or following me on Instagram for a while, you probably already know how I feel about 'mompetition' and mom-shaming. Characterized by inner (or sometimes outer) mean girl traits, mompetition and mom-shaming are essentially the notions based off not feeling good enough. Mompetition refers to competing against or comparing yourself to other moms, and mom-shaming refers to making other moms feel like crap because you're feeling inferior. Suffice to say, it's bad news. However, in today's society with social media so readily available at your fingertips and new products, findings and theories popping up every day, it's kind of inevitable. I'd by lying if I said I hadn't compared myself to some pretty amazing mamas I know and felt guilty and sometimes ashamed even with the lack of measuring up. I have to constantly remind myself I can only be the best I know how to be and not try and be someone different. It's hard, though, right??

I've been doing a lot of thinking about motherhood and how isolating and lonely it can feel (even with tiny toddler tornados running amok). Sometimes I think mom-shaming stems from women not remembering how to truly connect with others, and we are too quick to judge because it's easier that way. Hell, I don't blame us; motherhood is hard and can be so exhausting so I get it. But the truth of the matter is we're all in this together---seriously. Not one mom is more superior or inferior than the other, and there is more than one way to parent and to be a parent.

So, without further ado, introducing: #WCW (Women Crush Wednesdays), a weekly series of women guest bloggers (aka friends of mine) who I admire and who are handling motherhood and/or motherhood-to-be with grace and love. Whether it be a juggling act of four or a quick and easy beauty routine, these women have totally nailed it yet in the same breath share their own difficulties as well. My intention for this series is to seek out the perspectives, triumphs and struggles of moms -- ALL moms.

***

My first guest blogger is an incredible friend of mine named Brittney. Not only is she beautiful, smart and funny, but she's got an amazing family of the most hilarious husband (who happens to be one of my husband's best friends) and two adorable little boys.

Dying---how amazing of a boy mom is she? Brit and her fam dressed up as Star Wars people for Halloween this year.

Brittney happens to be a baller at her job, which is actually baller in itself (she gets to go to the Grammys!!), and she is one of the best, if not the best, boy mom I know (she's even got my husband trained). Don't let her fool you; yes, her boys are total boys, obsessed with all things Star Wars and sports, but they are also two of the most sweet, well behaved, polite and courteous little men I've ever met. I asked Brit to write a guest post for me because she handles being a mom, a mom of two at that, while working an insanely demanding job flawlessly. Her husband works an insanely demanding job as well, so it's not like either one are putting their careers backseat to be more of a parent than the other. But I've never seen her freak out, and

She went to Cole's Halloween parade at school dressed up as Chewy. Not one single parent was dressed up, just Brittney. Reason #5028 why I love her.

***

A couple of weeks ago Sarah asked me to do a guest post on her blog. My response: Ah...sure...but what do you want me to write about?

I'll start by introducing myself: my name is Brittney, but I go by Brit, Pugh, Mama, Moooooooooom [said in a whiny kid voice] and Boss of Everyone. It's true. My five year old son even said it on camera, which is now posted on Instagram, which basically means it's law. I'm a mom of two boys: Hudson, two years old, and Cole, 5.5 years old. This half year is pretty damn important as I wasn't the biggest fan of his for the first part of five. He's much more enjoyable now. I work for an advertising agency in Minneapolis, married to a 6'6" math nerd/drunken rouge, live in the 'burbs and am a fair-weather fitness fan.

Brittney Dictionary
Fair-Weather Fitness Fan: Someone who wears yoga clothes practically every day, loves motivational fitness quotes, drinks green smoothes for breakfast and maybe works out once a month.

So now that you have a general idea of who I am, I'll get to the topic Sarah wanted me to cover: working mom of two kids.

Now Sarah thinks I have an important job (she does) where I'm Business Barbie meets Mad Men meets Miranda Priestly (hahahah, I totally do). I didn't want to burst her bubble, but I'm really not that big of a deal (yes, she is). I'm not curing any diseases or stopping WWIII. I do have a tendency to be in meetings with people who make five times what I make and have P Diddy's cell number at the ready...but I'm not one of them. With that said, I do feel the stress of working full-time plus evening hours. The stress of trying to grow my team's knowledge while making sure they don't want to jump overboard. The pressure to win new business and grow the agency all the while trying to make sure my kiddo gets to Taekwondo on time.

Still with me? Bueller?

So here's my post -- The Five Things I Try to Remember When Shit Gets Real (Working Mom Edition):

1. Daycare people are saints, so buy them shit. About six months ago I was about to go into a meeting presenting to the CEO of a large retailer we all know, love, and spend way too much money at. About five minutes before presenting to said CEO, daycare called. You know that feeling on a roller coaster before it goes over the cliff? Yep. Had that in spades. Apparently Cold had diarrhea and had shit through four pairs of pants. He was currently wearing snow pants, and I needed to come get him ASAP. It just so happened this same week my husband was out of town, my parents are Florida snowbirds, and my MIL was visiting family out of state. Summary: I pitted out my fancy-ass shirt in :05 because I was freaking out. Then I remembered I had just purchased the teachers at school some amazing massage gift cards for Christmas, so I quickly called daycare back and pleaded my case: Please don't call CPS, I will be there in an hour, but I have to go present, yadda, blah, fake tears, sniffle, etc. AND IT WORKED! I'd love to say it was all me, but I know it was the sick gifts I splurged on.

2. Your kid won't die if he has to wear snow pants for an hour. See above.

3. People are way cooler than expected if you tell them you were puked on last night. No explanation needed, right?! "How was your night?" Oh, me? Had a great dinner of mac n' cheese, watched some Paw Patrol, was woken up at 2am and got puked on...you know, typical Tuesday. How about you?

4. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you're important at work. This one is critical. I've been in my field for over five years...shit. Over 11 years. Damn I'm old. Anyway. So I've been doing this career thing pre-marriage, pre-kid, pre-second kid, and the one thing that has always been my north star when dealing with co-workers: Having kids doesn't give you a special pass. It was your choice to give up your life to crackhead schizophrenics who have an obsession with Fruit Loops. Your night, whatever you choose to do with it, is your prerogative. No one person's plans trumps another. Just because I have to get my kid to t-ball does not mean it's more important than your yoga class. [God, I miss yoga after work.]

5. It's just a fucking job. In the end, it's a job. Yes, you should love what you do and should be passionate about it, but your family (whomever that is comprised of) should be your #1 priority. It's taken awhile to figure this out -- phones out of sight at the dinner table, laptops stored until pre-bedtime routine is complete, weekend email sessions only during rest time, etc. It's tough but in the end I want my kids to remember squirt gun fights and not "just one minute for Mommy to send this email." I want them to figure out their own work/life balance before there's a work/life to worry about. I want to enjoy my kids--even when I want to hit them over the head with the monster cars that WON'T SHUT UP--and I want them to enjoy me.

Wow. That shit was long. Hope I kept you mildly entertained, but if not, here's a video of my insanely cute kids telling you I'm the boss.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BFNMYowhEeS/

***

To see more of Brittney and her boys, follow her at https://www.instagram.com/brityr.